Archive for the The Pain of Life Category

Patterns on the Mire

Posted in Goodbye, Loss, Remembrance, The Pain of Life, Through the Passage of Time with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 2, 2012 by mistressofpoetry

 

Rain falls softly on my field of remembrance
Years spent in the evening gloom
As the breeze breaks through my song
And I recall the echoes of a life long past

In truth, it was but a memory’s glance at salvation
For all it was worth
I never saw a smile which did not pierce my heart
With agony
With judgement
With lost hope which dared not lift its face

My confessions reach beyond the veil I drew in sorrow
Sorrow for the many truths which now lie in dust and mourning
Forgotten and torn for vultures to devour
As my soul dies gently in dreams which know no end

A heart painted black by pain, which even now you hide
An empty wish spoken to the bearer of mine eyes
But vision fell deep upon the stains you still carry
And I looked hard into your soul, and saw no tears
Only blind rage coursed through the brush you held
As I ran into the wilderness of remorse

There, behind all the laughter
Falling from each whisper of my spirit’s breath
Lay a pain which cannot find retreat
For there is no morning to embrace the dew
And no night for my setting sun
Not even a teardrop to dine upon the soil

Do not wonder at the reason
When the bells toll upon my grave
Do not dare to shed your tears
For it was you who placed me beneath the stone

The garden grows tall with the recollection
That only the ghosts are willing to speak
The rust and ruin of forgotten yesterdays
Self-evidence within the patterns on the mire
As my silent novel fearfully repeats
And marks but one last word upon a fading memory
Why?

The Pearl

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Perseverance, The Pain of Life, Through the Passage of Time with tags , , , , , , , on February 25, 2012 by mistressofpoetry

Freedom_Is_A_Long_Way_Away_by Arielle Carroll

 

Funeral of my soul
I have brought forth the chalice for thy grief
To fill with tears
Emotions fallen on deaf hearts and blind greed
They darken with each breath
And in hatred, seethe the darkest black of my broken star
Wishes never spoken

Mirrored in nightmares
I could throw myself from my chariot
Riding low upon the fields
Tangled in a web of chaotic guilt
There is no escape for me
No angel to hearken the nights filled with weeping
And no hand to wipe away the tears

Why can I not break?
Why must I remain in these bloodstained halls
On paths which I wish to forget?
Death holds no promise
Neither the morn
For I have besought all pleasure and pain
Only to hold this one quiescent pearl of being.

My gaze cannot pierce its treasure
Nor can my thoughts behold it’s meaning
For so long I have been alone
Years filled with the curse of sorrow’s temptation
So few have seen the unknown depths
But then so few have dared to look
As I held onto this one small gift which fell from within

The gods have betrayed a fool
My fate in this labyrinth of whispered regret
I am a pauper’s forbidden bounty
Hidden in the silence of the bedchamber wall
Beauty which could not foresee a dream of light
Wishing never to be gazed upon again
Mourning these forsaken memories, in dust.

Paradox Betrothed in a Tear

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Remembrance, The Pain of Life, Through the Passage of Time with tags , , , , , , , , on January 28, 2012 by mistressofpoetry

Closed_Eye_Visuals_by_Arielle_Carroll

The sands of time have ravaged my soul
In the lost essence of a single, unadulterated tear
Pure in its wasted chasms
Emptied of all its mirth
To trace the barren heart with its toil

The sideshow freaks stare on
Appalled yet entertained by my absent presence
The facade of someone ever lost
To the echoing branches of a far distant shore
The brazen opportunity to vanquish the present
And embrace what has not yet become

The glimmering shadow of the abyss takes form
Casting leaves to the wind
And mercy to the rain-filled sky
Replenishing the soil with its fertile yet dank mysteries
Plentitude from the heaven without
As the darkness within grows ever greater in stature

The marigolds stink of the wretched sun
Yet they bow to the nourishment below
Soaking up death like rays of light
Yet longing for the warmth of spring
To release their tempered joy

Hallowed are these fields of mine
Forested towers with ebony crowns
Cloaked in the embers of memory
And fed by the renewal of pain
Like scented drops of jasmine
Flowing deep into the cracks
Where light and dark are one…

Distant Awakenings

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Perseverance, The Pain of Life, Through the Passage of Time with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 19, 2012 by mistressofpoetry

As the moonlight scatters its orbital procession across distant visions of eternity
At once I feel at peace with the disharmonic chatter of angels in the background
Following me from afar, they fear not the darkness,
Nor the solitary ways of the wanderer which sits stunned by the delight of nocturnal ebonies
Shadows which dance behind the flickering darkness of the candle
Waiting, watching as the eve falls all the more silent
And in stillness, sing a thousand songs to the wounds which grace my body with pleasure

Formidable champions they are, which sought the quietude of night to approach
And in the small corners of my waking mind, peer out, fixated by grimacing spectres
Floating amid the ripples
Prostrate against the barren landscape
As the mist rises with the approaching dawn
A swift rider appears in the heavenly garden
Forming droplets on forever’s tomorrow : tears which wait to be shed

I have all but joined them in the march across the celestial break
Shimmering ghosts which call my name
I reach up to touch them, but quickly fall away,
As I am plunged backward toward the abyss
Reality seizes my soul in fortitudinal abominations
And I lack the will to leap beyond its reach
Into the darkness of the unknown; into the dream, which even now haunts my very breath

Waiting, watching as the strokes painstakingly make their journey
Like drums, pounding in my mind
I must find my escape, I must return to the darkness from whence I came
Somewhere, far from this horrid and devouring demon
Who sits quietly, knowingly
And in all things, points toward the mirror
Where stands a woman, a million nights enrobed, and in pain

The demon knows not that I am forever
Only the body shall remain,
For the scars which enshroud this spirit are a chosen reality which I wholly accept
I will return to the lake which drinks my waiting tears
For I am one of many which lurk within the deep dreams of distant awakenings
Brilliant and fading, to catch the dew just one more time
And drink full the wisdom of a single breath, quietly freezing in the temple of the night.

Autumn’s Frozen Wish

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Passion and Pain, Perseverance, Remembrance, The Pain of Life, Through the Passage of Time with tags , , , , , , on October 16, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

Characteristic Circles of Droplets by Arielle Carroll

Sweet rain, fall on my face
And wash away the years of emptiness I feel,
For in your eyes I am but a child
Longing for the kiss of an eternal dream
A dream which left me alone in this dismal heaven,
Dismal, but in the morrow sees my smile.

Fresh tears, fresh pain
And a need for regret
Yet I can feel nothing but the stirring of the storm
As the seas boil in honor of suffering.

Characteristic Circles of Droplets2 by Arielle Carroll

Autumn’s chill seeks the dreary soul
And embraces the willing with arms as wide as the sky
Could it be that I have been merely frozen in disbelief
Or is it with certainty that I care no more?
The flames of hatred have scorched my flesh
With all the pain of words which no longer tear my lips from quietude.

A new fall, fresh rain
And still I find it cumbersome
How life has failed to lift vengeance with the sun
As all the more I wish for pain to quench my thirsting sorrow.

My lady of the dew, my storming cancer
If it were a wish that I could make, I’d wish it all away
And let only your darkness cover me
For I have learned what it is to paint with the colors of black
And be discharged from grace so oft as I breathe
For what is it but darkness which created me
And what is it but darkness, which washes my tears with rain?

Characteristic Circles of Droplets 3 by Arielle Carroll

Desert Prodigal

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Passion and Pain, Perseverance, The Pain of Life, Through the Passage of Time with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 4, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

Falling forever, it seems like nothing has changed
A runaway in the desert, following streams that led me astray
Hours turn to years of loneliness under a blinding sun
And all I can say for my bitterness is that I still feel

Thirsty and angered at all that life has repaid
Hatred and lust toward my only guiding star
As the sand takes my vision away
And hides my tears deep in the morrow of pain

Pleasure will scorch me with flames that bear loneliness
Twisted as life has become, those flames have become my smile
As many a torment has caressed my cheek
And it is all that I understand

Spun in the threads of a storm for so long
I can’t remember the last face to greet me
Dry desert trails this prodigal has traced
To simply find a friend

Fear for the angels who come to take my broken spirit away
Nothing more to mourn for, and nothing left of me
As phantoms embrace my lost and dying heart
To lead me once more to grace

In that final, whispered dream of a thought
As my eyes clear away the debris of a thousand wars
The stream reappears from the flow of my heart
And the burden lay before me in the form of rain

Blood mixed with water far too long held back
An oasis springs forth in the echoes of release
As chains of emotion bound by Hell’s angry eyes
Fall from tattered wings… and scream

The journey falls upward in a furious storm
As the vultures reveal the decay
Had not I fallen, I’d never have lived
Beauty was the desert in my fallen eyes
Blinded and opened by pain… to set me free…

Eternal_Slave_of_Fear_by_Arielle Carroll

Hate Me

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Perseverance, The Pain of Life, Through the Passage of Time with tags , , , , , , on August 13, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

Blackened shards of hatred pierce my soul, as you tear apart my life.
Why can’t you love me; why am I so disgusting to you?
The tears of rage can flood away my sight, but they cannot take away my pain,
For I am alone, in a crowded room filled with unknown faces that I cannot trust.
Familiarity of the past is now become as strange to me as alien eyes,
Kissing lies, fairytales of understanding, vicious obliterations that rip apart my spirit wings,
You will all fall at the foot of revelation, blinded eyes forced apart,
“SEE ME AS I AM!!!”

I am the same as I was, only I have faced my fear, I have found who I am,
But who I am is a threat to your pitiful outlook.
The rose has it’s thorns, but it is still a rose, as beautiful as ever,
But you judge the rose by its thorns,
You judge me, and you hate me, and I care not.

My tears have no place in your eyes, for you refuse to see them.
You refuse to see my pain, how it cuts me till it bleeds.
I drown in heavy floods of rage, bury myself in a blanket of death.
I no longer know you; you have turned your back, and I weep bitterly,
Because I remember the times of my decieved youth,
When the sun shone brightly on blinded eyes;
But now, I see the crystal truth, I become who I truly was meant to be,
And you hate me for it.

The art of my soul sings great melodies of beautiful tears,
But the raven is unacceptable, for she paints in black.
The song is melancholy, but it is no less beautiful than the sun-laced sky.
I will see you in the days of your lonliness, when you have forgotten me;
But my face will glow with truth, for I accepted what you could not…