Archive for Loss

A Stranger Behind These Eyes

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Loss, The Pain of Life with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 8, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

A stranger, I wander alone inside;
For all that I have known, I do not know who stares behind these eyes.
I no longer belong in this place of scowling faces.

Hatred have I recieved for every breath I take,
Rejection has adorned my soul in black;
For it was painted as the shadow in which I roam.

My flesh, so cold and lonely,
For all who would dare to touch me are just as I,
And I find this is most beloved of my mournful soul–to find understanding.

These lost spirits who, abandoned, have found peace within the dark–
These are my true companions
For they know the structure of the intricate dreams that I dream.

The tears escape my eyes,
Which, burning with fatigue and desecrated visions, have sought the end so many times,
But within, still, remains the ponderings of a suffocating struggle to be free.

I question each sound which reverberates within this mind of illusory departure.
To find emotion once more; to find the dreamer which lurks inside these dying halls.
My labrynth is filled with deadly passages, consumed with madness and fear.

I have journeyed far, over the ocean of a time which feeds upon a haggard battlefield,
As the obelisk-like formations resonate the terrifying silence,
For these ancient monoliths have fallen, and I wish not to set foot upon that dread place.

The seasons of waking nightmares have been left behind,
But this is a place that I no longer know, and I am the stranger here.
All eyes are upon my transparent form, and I am become one of the ghosts in this place.

My existence is a perilous void, seeking substance within,
But it is my true companions which have held me fast in the sweat of my disease.
When my wanderings subside, it is their eyes which I will long to see–
Love beyond love, sight beyond vision, trust beyond that of life and death;
And I will fear no more…

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Sparrow

Posted in Goodbye, Passion and Pain, Perseverance, The Pain of Life with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 3, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

This rose withers in the scorching sun
As the angels fly away
Little do they realize that as the petals fade
The sparrow remains locked away

Search for truth and the key will be found
All fairytales of a distant dream
Flowing like fountains from behind my eyes
And chasing the song of windchimes

Hide away, hide away on some distant shore
And wait for freedom to carry me to you
Disenchanted dreamer come die alone with me
Wherever you are, you are still a part of me

I will make my mind’s escape and join myself again
One day, lying on the shores of stars
Whispering no more the open sores of the cage
Broken with bandages laying on red soil

Claw my repose and see that I bleed
Send me to my dream of evermore
For I disappeared before your eyes
The night you locked the door

No more blood upon silvery clouds
For I am empty of my remorse
In black I shall ride into a dream
Fading into the sparrow’s eyes

As the wind carries away the final trace
And the night calls one last time
You will find the rose no more
For my heart drifted alone all these years
Floating with the breeze… towards life’s first breath

A Message in Darkness

Posted in Loss, Remembrance with tags , , , , on January 16, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

“Some people remember; most forget.”

In harrowing darkness spent mourning the end
Sought only in solitude and deliberate proliferation of vengeance
And yet not for you, my dear Abigail
I cannot hate what I cannot blame
For it is life which took you from my arms
And death which shall return you to me
Lost, without hope of consolation
I dread you to forget, if even for a time
My love

Shallow breathing vex my throat in choking sorrow
I wish neither for air nor sleep nor any condolence of grief
For loss is but a memory of restless spirits
Bent on the kill
Slaves for all eternity, to worship their own demise
And mine
For if the angel, Abigail should return
I doubt that I should return to myself
For there are no tears left to shed…neither in joy nor release

Eternal_Slave_of_Fear by Arielle Carroll

Seek me in the the pitch black of a moonless night
Wandering with spirits which shall ever be my companions
I shall not forget thee, my blessed Abigail
For you were my daughter
You were my friend
Out of the bowels of hell, I retrieved you
As would I, my own flesh
To send you on in strength which, for me, fails
As I fall helplessly in want of your child-like kiss

Alone, I will walk as the dead
For I have already joined the spirits long ago
You, my dearest, were one of so few that I have loved
Do not be afraid
Death is but a gentle parting of ways
Perhaps as you grow, you will think back to my tomb
Laden with satin nights of dreary dread
Scattered amid the papers which float endlessly to the unlit furnace
And the picture which sits fading in the chamber’s desk -drawer

“Some people remember–Don’t forget….me…”

Note from the Author: The original title was A Message in Darkness (revision of  – Spoken in a Bottle, Timeless Words). I wrote these two poems in 2006, back to back (one being a revision of the other), but they seem utterly different, as none of the original poem was kept in the revision. I found this fact quite interesting. Hope you enjoy!

Spoken in a Bottle, Timeless Words

Posted in Remembrance with tags , , on January 9, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

The birds have all flown away in the falling blue sky
As an angel sat watching her dream disappear
And even the flowers cried her name
In the soft undergrowth of fountainous tears
Dreft naught, but high in the breeze of her flowing white hair
She dared to dream once more
In the sanctity of all that was her hopes
She wrote her name with blades of grass
Flung to life, and caught by death
Yet it alone remembered her

In the bottle of time, she shone on in darkness
And wrote with her bleeding fingers the joy that was not her own
And wrote her story on the script of her life
Tossed to the waves of resurrection
Caught by hands which caressed her face in love and embrace
For they were the only ones ever to trace the path of her tears
Shed only once, and never again
Adding that last cherished word of remembrance
Forgotten
And never spoken again

The_Summoning by Arielle Carroll

In the days the angel passed away
Moaned her everlasting sorrow one last time
“Remember me when you are old
For you forgot me in your youth
Shed my tears that I wished never to shed
And drink my loving wine
From the bottle whence I spoke my words for you
And left them forever to drift
Like my soul
In all that I had bled from my veins to the page…remember…”

Still this day I wonder where she left to
Had the sky known her voice in those harrowing hours
It would have built her a fortress from the rubble
For once she flew high as the birds
In solitude, grace, and beautiful raven wings
Yet still I see those feathers,
Trailing her path to the sea
Drowning, heart-heavy at the bottom of my soul
Returning her thoughts to me in a bottle, floating free
Opening lost treasures with tears shed like words… “Remember me…”

Note from the Author:This is the first part of a two-poem series. Be sure to stop by next week to read the second poem and find out what is so interesting about these two poems.  🙂