Archive for the Loss Category

Patterns on the Mire

Posted in Goodbye, Loss, Remembrance, The Pain of Life, Through the Passage of Time with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 2, 2012 by mistressofpoetry

 

Rain falls softly on my field of remembrance
Years spent in the evening gloom
As the breeze breaks through my song
And I recall the echoes of a life long past

In truth, it was but a memory’s glance at salvation
For all it was worth
I never saw a smile which did not pierce my heart
With agony
With judgement
With lost hope which dared not lift its face

My confessions reach beyond the veil I drew in sorrow
Sorrow for the many truths which now lie in dust and mourning
Forgotten and torn for vultures to devour
As my soul dies gently in dreams which know no end

A heart painted black by pain, which even now you hide
An empty wish spoken to the bearer of mine eyes
But vision fell deep upon the stains you still carry
And I looked hard into your soul, and saw no tears
Only blind rage coursed through the brush you held
As I ran into the wilderness of remorse

There, behind all the laughter
Falling from each whisper of my spirit’s breath
Lay a pain which cannot find retreat
For there is no morning to embrace the dew
And no night for my setting sun
Not even a teardrop to dine upon the soil

Do not wonder at the reason
When the bells toll upon my grave
Do not dare to shed your tears
For it was you who placed me beneath the stone

The garden grows tall with the recollection
That only the ghosts are willing to speak
The rust and ruin of forgotten yesterdays
Self-evidence within the patterns on the mire
As my silent novel fearfully repeats
And marks but one last word upon a fading memory
Why?

Haunted Lullaby

Posted in A Mother's Love, In Response to Headlines, Loss with tags , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2012 by mistressofpoetry

Eternal_Slave_of_Fear_by_Arielle Carroll

Sleep my darlings
I see you there
Waiting by the tearful willow
Behind the veil of blinding light
Your future and my past

Teaching patience unfulfilled
With wishes never granted
Sorrow carving streams of pain
With echoes never answered

And if the silence
Could tell its tale
I would dare not speak the truth
For how could I betray your innocence
By my murder within this room?

Lives shattered like the mirror’s gaze
Broken with each scream
Return the soul to walk at night
And watch here while you dream

Rest my darlings
I am here,
And never will I leave
Enter peaceful, loving shores
And listen while I sing

Mother’s voice,
I know it well
Whispered in the breeze
Every night I feel her hand
Soft against my cheek

Daddy, can’t you hear her song
Can’t you see her ghost-like image
Walking on the moonlit moor
Like an angel’s pallid visage?

Dreams turned darkly
Forged in fear
Vengeance taken slowly
Madness driving men to die
When to Hell they sink so lowly

Unentered

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Goodbye, Loss, Remembrance with tags , , , , on September 9, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

Disembodied thoughts like whirlwinds in the skies
Trace unending memory
Longing
Fearful desperation
For an ever silent day
Far from here

Voices never heard
Yet every moment
Lay cherished and unbroken
While time stood still
And brevity hid in shadow
A teacher and a thief

Still I crave the sound
Of your sweet soul
Sung softly in the dark
Which desecrated my tomb
Torn open
From within

It was pain that brought us mirth
And pain which drives the tears
That fell on bitter soil
A secret seed to sow
Of desolate dreams unentered
Despondent and awake

Blood and mist
Fade like flowers
In the chasm of our soul
Yet the flame still burns against the cold
As our world slowly turns
To walk away

A Stranger Behind These Eyes

Posted in From a Melancholic Soul, Loss, The Pain of Life with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 8, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

A stranger, I wander alone inside;
For all that I have known, I do not know who stares behind these eyes.
I no longer belong in this place of scowling faces.

Hatred have I recieved for every breath I take,
Rejection has adorned my soul in black;
For it was painted as the shadow in which I roam.

My flesh, so cold and lonely,
For all who would dare to touch me are just as I,
And I find this is most beloved of my mournful soul–to find understanding.

These lost spirits who, abandoned, have found peace within the dark–
These are my true companions
For they know the structure of the intricate dreams that I dream.

The tears escape my eyes,
Which, burning with fatigue and desecrated visions, have sought the end so many times,
But within, still, remains the ponderings of a suffocating struggle to be free.

I question each sound which reverberates within this mind of illusory departure.
To find emotion once more; to find the dreamer which lurks inside these dying halls.
My labrynth is filled with deadly passages, consumed with madness and fear.

I have journeyed far, over the ocean of a time which feeds upon a haggard battlefield,
As the obelisk-like formations resonate the terrifying silence,
For these ancient monoliths have fallen, and I wish not to set foot upon that dread place.

The seasons of waking nightmares have been left behind,
But this is a place that I no longer know, and I am the stranger here.
All eyes are upon my transparent form, and I am become one of the ghosts in this place.

My existence is a perilous void, seeking substance within,
But it is my true companions which have held me fast in the sweat of my disease.
When my wanderings subside, it is their eyes which I will long to see–
Love beyond love, sight beyond vision, trust beyond that of life and death;
And I will fear no more…

A Message in Darkness

Posted in Loss, Remembrance with tags , , , , on January 16, 2011 by mistressofpoetry

“Some people remember; most forget.”

In harrowing darkness spent mourning the end
Sought only in solitude and deliberate proliferation of vengeance
And yet not for you, my dear Abigail
I cannot hate what I cannot blame
For it is life which took you from my arms
And death which shall return you to me
Lost, without hope of consolation
I dread you to forget, if even for a time
My love

Shallow breathing vex my throat in choking sorrow
I wish neither for air nor sleep nor any condolence of grief
For loss is but a memory of restless spirits
Bent on the kill
Slaves for all eternity, to worship their own demise
And mine
For if the angel, Abigail should return
I doubt that I should return to myself
For there are no tears left to shed…neither in joy nor release

Eternal_Slave_of_Fear by Arielle Carroll

Seek me in the the pitch black of a moonless night
Wandering with spirits which shall ever be my companions
I shall not forget thee, my blessed Abigail
For you were my daughter
You were my friend
Out of the bowels of hell, I retrieved you
As would I, my own flesh
To send you on in strength which, for me, fails
As I fall helplessly in want of your child-like kiss

Alone, I will walk as the dead
For I have already joined the spirits long ago
You, my dearest, were one of so few that I have loved
Do not be afraid
Death is but a gentle parting of ways
Perhaps as you grow, you will think back to my tomb
Laden with satin nights of dreary dread
Scattered amid the papers which float endlessly to the unlit furnace
And the picture which sits fading in the chamber’s desk -drawer

“Some people remember–Don’t forget….me…”

Note from the Author: The original title was A Message in Darkness (revision of  – Spoken in a Bottle, Timeless Words). I wrote these two poems in 2006, back to back (one being a revision of the other), but they seem utterly different, as none of the original poem was kept in the revision. I found this fact quite interesting. Hope you enjoy!